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If
you aren't happy with your life at the moment, don't worry, because you
have the power to change it. It might not feel like it right now, but
even small changes can make a very big difference.
Having
low self esteem takes an enormous toll on the quality of your life. You
take fewer risks, which limits your opportunities, both personally and
professionally. You are reluctant to voice or acknowledge your needs.
You are probably also haunted by past mistakes and making future ones.
It
doesn't have to be like this, the tools you've used to (unconsciously)
lower your self esteem are the same ones you use to raise it. The
following article gives you ten tips to raise your self esteem and
improve the quality of your life!
If
you don't think you can manage all ten of these confidence-boosting
ideas straight away, just choose one and, when you've got the hang of
it, do another one. In fact, you could even set yourself a two-week
change programme and take one of the options each day.
1.
De-bug your system
If you work on a computer, you probably save your valuable, creative
files, delete all the rubbish and check for bugs. Our brains are the
most sophisticated computers well ever own, but we don't look after them
as well as we look after our PCs. However, did you know you can
programme your brain to boost your self-esteem?
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Use
the right programming language and be positive when you talk to
yourself. Instead of saying I shouldn't eat so much, I mustn't be so
lazy, I cant cope under pressure, use phrases such as I can eat
healthy food, I will take regular exercise, I am getting more
confident.
Congratulate
yourself when things go right even little things like getting to work on
time or remembering to call a friend on their birthday. Using
affirmations is an excellent way to raise your self esteem. It's
the opposite of no 1. If you can program your mind to repeat negative
phrases about yourself (and see how effective that's been!), then you
can certainly get into the habit of continually thinking (and saying to
yourself) positive statements about you. When you do, allow yourself to
experience the positive feelings about your statements. Also use
inspirational quotes to assist you.
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If
something is bothering you, whether its a person, an incident, or
something you did or didn't do, acknowledge it, learn from it and
then delete it. Its taking up valuable mind space and undermining
your self-esteem.
-
Before
you go to sleep, think of six things that made you happy during the
day. It could be a smile, a piece of music, sunshine on your back or
a cuddle.
-
Use
your sleeping time positively. If something's bothering you, ask
yourself some questions about it before you go to sleep. Make sure
you phrase those questions positively don't ask yourself why am I
such a failure? before you close your eyes. Ask how can I be more
successful/confident/happy?
2
Start the day right
Stop
putting up with stuff!
Not voicing or acknowledging your needs means that you are probably
tolerating more than you should. Find out what you're putting up with
and zap those tolerations. By doing so, you're giving yourself the
message that you're worth it. Mornings seem to be a bad time for most
people, and if you start off sluggishly, this negative mood can hang
around until lunchtime. Put yourself in a positive frame of mind before
you even get out of bed by asking yourself these questions:
-
If
I went to sleep last night with a question in mind, am I any closer
to an answer now? (If you don't have that answer yet, don't chase
it. Wait until it comes.)
-
What
am I happy about in my life? (It doesn't have to be large or
wonderful. Small happiness's count.)
-
What
am I excited about?
-
What
am I proud of?
-
What
am I grateful for?
-
What
am I committed to?
-
Who
do I love?
-
Who
loves me?
-
Don't keep putting yourself down!
You can't develop high self esteem if you constantly repeat negative
comments about your skills and abilities. Other people will pick up
on it and take on board the negative way you view yourself. How are
they likely to treat you? Also don't beat yourself up over
"mistakes" that you've made - learn how to reframe them so
that they work for you.
3.
Cultivate your social life
People with high self-esteem are generally quite sociable. But this is a
chicken and egg situation the less you interact with other people, the
more negative you'll feel about yourself and the less likely you'll be
to put yourself in social situations.
Break
the negative circle by starting to include other people in your life. If
this seems difficult, think of it as giving as well as taking. Join a
voluntary organisation or club and offer to help. This is not only a
distraction from your problems, but also generates feelings of self
worth.
4.
Get some exercise
Include more exercise in your life. Working out, particularly outdoors,
is a great way to generate your own feel-good chemicals and will give
you body confidence as well as energise you. People who exercise
regularly tend to look good, they have better skin tone, better muscle
tone and their movements are easier and more balanced. If you have
physical poise and strength, its much easier to feel confident inside as
well.
5.
Relax
Do you spend a lot of time feeling anxious and stressed? Learning to
breathe like a relaxed and confident person will help you cope with
daily stresses, and its the simplest habit you could ever learn.
There
are lots of books and classes about this and, if you like the idea, you
could take up meditation or yoga and become a master of poise and
positive energy.
6.
Make your own choices
Take time out to assess a) your career and b) your relationships. Ask
yourself:
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Is
this job/person giving me positive feedback?
-
Do
I enjoy this job/person?
-
Does
this job/person acknowledge and reflect my creativity and my
strengths?
-
Am
I sticking with this job/person simply out of habit?
-
Could
I do better?
If
its not working for you, whatever it is, change it.
7.
Review your situation
Include time for reflection in your daily schedule praying if you're
religions, meditating or writing a diary of your thoughts and feelings.
We often don't give ourselves enough time to process all the things that
are going on in our lives.
If
you decide on a diary, instead of writing a list of what went wrong
today, write down these headings first, and fill them in.
-
Goals:
set yourself a daily outcome and build up to larger goals.
-
Achievements:
what did you achieve today?
-
Gifts:
what happened, out of the blue, to cheer you?
-
Insights:
you may not get one every day but when you suddenly spot a key to
some piece of your behaviour, write it down.
8.
Change your environment
Chances are, your environment reflects the way you feel, but, whether
its dull, cluttered or messy, you can change it. Any positive changes
you make are going to have a positive effect on your mood too. Look at
your desk, your home or even your wardrobe and see what you can do to
make it more inspiring.
-
Clear
up the clutter (a good Feng Shui practice that will make you feel
more energetic) and throw out stuff you don't use
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Give
yourself a sound track add some inspiring music
-
Introduce
new bold colours that you love
Give
yourself the VIP treatment
Make
positive contributions to others.
This doesn't mean that you constantly do for others what they could be
doing for themselves. But when you do make a positive contribution to
others, you begin to feel more valuable, which increases your sense of
your own value and raises your self esteem.
Start treating yourself the way you'd treat your best friend. It comes
as a shock to most people how nasty and neglectful we can be to
ourselves. If you aren't sure you can keep this up for long, take it a
day at a time. Give yourself encouragement and support. Take yourself
out for a hairdo, a massage, an aromatherapy session or even a
clothes-shopping trip.
10.
Find a role model
If you're having difficulty taking this new version of yourself
seriously, why not pretend to be someone else? Think of someone you
admire it could be someone you know, or someone famous and live your day
as they would. How would they react to others? Would they be assertive?
Relaxed? Confident? Fun and energetic?
And yes, you do know how to do this. Even if you have to think
back to when you were a child, you'll be able to come up with a time
when you were happy with yourself and in control of your situation. In
fact, if you can remember that time very well, why not be your own role
model? Start taking action!
The universe rewards action. Backing away and avoiding challenges means
that your self esteem muscles become weak and flabby. When you start to
take action - regardless of the outcome - you will start to feel better
about yourself, develop your self confidence and raise your self esteem.
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